House Progress

by Julie Peters///By Julie, Life

We closed on our first house two days before I gave birth to our first child! It has been crazy and we are still not moved in yet, but we are making progress and we are so excited.

The house is a bit of a fixer-upper, but we love it and we are excited to begin raising our family in it. We decided to paint the walls and rip out the carpet, replacing it with laminate wood before moving in. But that is easier said than done. It all turned out to be a bigger project than we expected, but we have had a lot of help and we are getting closer and closer to being able to move in!

All the pink wallpaper in the living room and kitchen was torn down and the paneling was painted. A lot of people put a lot of hours into getting that wallpaper off! It was not easy!

Painting helpers

Our bedroom in progress!

Finished floors, finished walls, and furniture ready to move!

This is a crazy season in our lives, but it is wonderful and we are very blessed.

Our biggest blessing

Growing with a Baby

by Julie Peters///Baby, By Julie, Reflection

“You might believe that you can’t afford to practice spiritual discipline because of the intensity of this season… the truth is, you can’t afford not to.” ~ Gentle Leading

About a week ago my wonderful sister-in-love sent me an article titled “Spiritual Discipline with a Newborn” on the blog Gentle Leading. Grace gave birth to Mae’s cousin exactly a month before she made her entrance, so we have been sharing and learning a lot together as we went through pregnancy and childbirth, and now taking care of babies together.

She sent it to me with perfect timing. I was (and still am) completely wrapped up in Mae’s schedule. When did she eat last, and when should she eat again? Did she eat enough? What can I do to comfort her at every sound? Thoughts throughout my day were occupied with Mae and her needs, and they even spread into my dreams and presented themselves the instant I awoke.

I would read my Bible as I held her sleeping in the mornings, but I was easily distracted with her sweet face or sleepy noises. I tried to pray while I was feeding her multiple times a day, but again I was distracted. Nursing was difficult for both of us at the beginning, and it required a lot of concentration and effort on my part. It is much easier now, but I still find my mind wandering with little sleep or mental power to keep my mind on track.

Although it seems as if my sleep deprived mind and physical obligation to constantly caring for this baby leaves me with no time to afford spiritual discipline, but I realize this is a time that is also absolutely crucial for me to be strong in my walk with God.

Mae is still tiny and she does not know what I am doing, other than I am a source of food and comfort for her, but I know time will fly and before I know it she will be watching my every action. I want to begin now to be the role model I want her to have in her life, and most importantly in spiritual matters. In Sally Clarkson’s The Mission of Motherhood she says, “We mothers have the opportunity to influence eternity by building a spiritual legacy in the lives of our children.” How important is this role of motherhood, and how important it is for me to begin now to be that spiritual example for my daughter.

I am still learning and I am far from perfect, but I have been trying to focus more on spiritual things through my focus on my baby. It is God’s will for me to take care of my baby, so I am trying to use this time and focus to shift my thoughts to God. Whenever I am distracted by Mae’s cute face or noises, the thought should prompt me to thank God for her and turn my attention to Him in other ways. It is hard for me to read a large Bible while Mae is nursing, but my phone is small and easy to lay on the pillow beside me, so I have begun reading chapters here and there from the Bible as I feed her, trying to read slowly and deliberately.

It is true that I do not have the time or mental power to spend hours in an inductive study or in a deep word study involving the original language, but I do have time. I can put forth effort. Because it is so important for me in my personal walk as a Christian and in my roles as a wife and mother.

If you are a mother, what did/do you do to grow spiritually with a newborn? Even if you are not a mother, do you have any ideas or encouragement?

Sweet Baby Mae

by Julie Peters///Baby, By Julie

Things don’t always go as planned.

As I drew nearer to my due date, I planned to continue to be healthy, to go into labor on my own, have a natural birth and a healthy baby.

I did not plan to go to the doctor at 36 weeks and discover that I had not gained weight and my fundal height had decreased from my previous visit at 34 weeks and I would need another ultrasound to check on the baby.

I did not plan to find out at 37 weeks that my baby did not appear to be growing as she should, and there was possibly a problem. My doctor offered to induce me right then, but if not I and the baby should be closely monitored twice a week, and I should not go past 39 weeks at the latest.

After prayer, deliberation, and discussion, we decided that I would be induced on Friday, August 24, when I was 38 weeks and one day. I still hoped and prayed that I would go into labor naturally beforehand. If not, I hoped that my labor could be started with a tiny dose of pitocin and I would continue labor on my own.

But things don’t always go as planned.

We arrived at the hospital Friday morning at 7:30, nervous and without a single contraction. After I got settled in and hooked up to several monitors, they started the pitocin on a low dose around 9:00, slowly increasing it every so often until I was at the highest level. A monitor showed that I was having contractions, but I did not feel them. Time seemed to crawl by as I anticipated what was to come and thought about how long I had to go.

Around 3:00 pm I was only 3 centimeters and I still was not feeling contractions beyond a mild tightness, so my doctor broke my water. My dilation continued to progress slowly, but the contractions got increasingly longer and stronger as I was put on an even higher dose of pitocin because my labor was not regular.

That evening I was only 4 centimeters and I felt like I had no break from the contractions. I was hooked up to so many monitors that I could not get up and move around. The pain was not totally unbearable, but it was exhausting and I knew I still had so far to go. Being my stubborn self, I still wanted to try to do it naturally, but mentally I was at my limit. I just wanted to turn it all off for a minute to catch my breath.

Once I decided to get the epidural I felt like I had given up on my “plan,” but I also felt a huge sense of relief. The whole process took a while, but eventually I was able to catch my breath and relax for a moment.

“I’ll be back in about an hour. Tell me if you feel any pressure or pain,” my nurse told me as she left the room after I was settled again. About an hour later I began feeling a lot of pressure. I looked at the time and thought the nurse should be returning soon. I told Mama I did not know what it meant, but I was feeling a lot of pressure, and she ran off to find the nurse.

She was surprised and told me I was 9-10 centimeters! “I’ll be back in about 15 minutes to check you again,” she told me. But she was not gone 5 minutes before I told Sam it was really strong and he went and got her again.

“Don’t sneeze or you’ll have a baby!” she told me and went to call my doctor, who had gone home to have dinner with his family. She had me practice pushing a couple of times while we were waiting for him, then had me stop. “Can you catch a baby?” Sam asked her. “Yes, but I don’t want to!” she replied.

My doctor arrived, got ready, and I began pushing at 9:25. Our sweet baby girl was born at 9:34.

She came out kicking and screaming and it was such a beautiful sound. Sam cut the cord and they placed her on my chest and I just stroked her and tried to take it all in as nurses wiped her down and gave her a hat and diaper. The next thing I knew everything was all cleaned up and everyone left for us to have our “Golden Hour” as a family of three

. 

I could not believe how beautiful and tiny she was, and how much she looked like Sam

And it no longer mattered that all my plans had been changed. She was healthy, I was healthy, and we were all so happy.

Pure happiness

Our sweet Mae Maureen was 5 pounds 6 ounces and 17.5 inches. She is a tiny little bundle of joy and our hearts are absolutely overflowing with love! We are so excited to begin this next chapter of our journey together as a family.

Happy Daddy!

Things do not always go as planned, but sometimes it is good for plans to go awry to show me my need to depend on God and His plans, which are often not the same as my own, but they are always better.

Waiting

by Julie Peters///Baby, By Julie, Reflection

The hospital bags are packed.

All the baby clothes are washed, folded, and sitting in laundry baskets.

The pack’n’play is assembled and stationed right next to my bed.

The carseat is installed in the car.

Now we’re just waiting.

Waiting is one of the hardest things to do. I have always been one to be counting down to something. When I was younger it was the number of days until Christmas or a fun vacation (I was known to even begin with 100+ days to count down!). When I was older it was the number of days until I could see Sam again. When we gotengaged I began a countdown of 286 days until we got married.

Sometimes I have to slow down and remind myself to stop being so anxious, because it is not going to make anything come any quicker. Whenever I make lists of things to pray for or things for myself to work on, patience always tops the list.

Recently, as I’ve been waiting, I have been reading through the Gospel of Matthew. I have been struck again and again at instances that show God fulfilling His promises and prophecies, even though they may have taken years and years.

I am not saying that waiting for a baby to be born or waiting for a loan to go through for a house can even be compared with waiting for the Messiah, but I am saying that with the proper perspective I can be a lot more patient.

God has promised to take care of His people, even if it does not ultimately look like we would want it to in this life. But we have this promise. And I can learn to patiently wait, praying for God’s will to be done.

So for now I will just be here, waiting, nesting, and thinking any little change must mean I’m going into labor. I hope I will also be here praying, and giving everything to God, waiting patiently for His will to be done.

Getting Settled

by Julie Peters///Uncategorized

We made it safely back to the States and we have spent the last few weeks trying to get settled and into a normal routine again. We are so happy to be here and near lots of family and friends, and things are going very well, we are just trying to figure out several different things as we settle in again.

Right now we are living with my parents, but we began the search for a house pretty soon after we returned to the States. We were blessed to find a house fairly quickly, and although the situation was interesting at first with us making a back-up contract and not knowing how it would all turn out, our offer was accepted and we are continuing the process now and all is going very smoothly. We are hoping to close and move in before the baby comes, but we are so blessed to know that my parents are willing for us to live with them for as long as we need to!

Since we have returned I have had two appointments with my doctor here and so far everything is going well with the baby and my pregnancy! I was a little behind schedule getting all the tests, but I the baby had an anatomy scan two weeks ago, I had a blood panel, and yesterday I had the blood sugar test. Both of us are healthy and I am still feeling great, and we are so thankful to God! I think she is just growing every day (because I am certainly growing) and she is very active. I absolutely love feeling her move nearly all day long!

Last weekend some lovely ladies at the congregation where I grew up gave us a baby shower and we were showered and blessed with so many things for our baby. When we got home Mama organized it and set it all up in her dining room, and I just wander in there several times a day to admire everything and think about how I can’t wait to use it all for a little baby!

Sam has begun preaching at Rienzi Church of Christ and it is going very well so far. We are enjoying getting to know the congregation and we pray they are as encouraged as we already are.

Sam also began his second job this week, working for a company of the hospital. He had orientation for two weeks and this week was his first week in the office. We are still figuring everything out, but it seems to be going well so far and we are so thankful for how well everything has been working out.

We are still trying to get into a normal schedule, which may take a while as everything is still changing so much and so quickly, but we are happy and overflowing with blessings. I hope to be posting here more regularly as we slowly find a normal place amidst all the wonderful change.

Home

by Julie Peters///By Julie, Reminiscence, Travel

Home: (n) 1. a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household; 2. any place of residence or refuge

Where is home? My idea of home has changed a lot over the past couple of years. For a long time, home was always the house in the middle of the woods in Mississippi, where all my family lived together. I loved being with my family, and I loved being home. Even after going on a trip where we were all together, I always looked forward to driving down the driveway, getting to sleep in my own bed (or my sister’s), and waking up to drink coffee from our coffee pot out of one of my favorite mugs.

When I moved to Florida College, it took a while, but my dorm room also became a place of “home” for me. It was a comfortable place I could go when I was stressed or overwhelmed, and after going on cross country trips I would look forward to returning and being able to sleep in my dorm bed. I still always referred to Mississippi as home, but sometimes I would catch myself referring to FC as home as well. It was just a home for a little while.

According to the above definition, since Sam and I got married we have had many homes, many places of residence or refuge. After we returned from our honeymoon we lived with my parents in the house in the middle of the woods in Mississippi for seven weeks. During those seven weeks we traveled all over the country, staying with multiple Christian families as Sam went to various congregations giving a report on the work in Romania.

When we arrived in Romania there was a great deal of uncertainty as to where we would live, and whether or not we would stay in Severin, where Sam had previously lived. So we set up to live with Sam’s parents for a little while until we could figure out what to do.

After a week we found a lovely apartment in the center of Severin and signed a contract for three months. I scrubbed the apartment from top to bottom and we filled it with little things from home, artwork painted by my sisters and homemade wedding gifts from friends, making it look and feel like home. We called that apartment home for three months before we made the decision to move to Craiova, a city two hours away.

Again we found a place to call home, and again I made it clean and filled it with the special items to make the space feel like our own. This time we called the space home for eight months.

Last week I packed everything up in anticipation of moving yet again. By the time I was done clearing out all our things the apartment looked clean and empty, no longer like our cozy home.

For the past week we have been living in Constanta with Sam’s parents in the apartment of a brother who is currently working out of the country. Today we leave to fly back to the States. We keep saying we are flying home.

We will live with my parents again until we find a house, a place of residence to call home.

But what really is home? Is it America? Or a house in the middle of the woods in Mississippi? Or a comfortable place in a foreign country?

For me, on this earth, home is a comfortable place of refuge where I am with those that I love. Anywhere I can retreat to be with Sam is home, whether we live there for a week, or eight months, or five years.

But ultimately, nowhere on this earth is home. I hope I never get so completely settled in a place of residence here on earth that I feel it is my ultimate home. Our ultimate home is in Heaven with God, and though we may find places of refuge and comfort here on earth, it is a comfort to know that our ultimate home is to come, and it is perfect.

“For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself.” Philippians 3.20-21

Pregnancy Story: Part Two

by Julie Peters///Baby, By Julie

First Trimester

I am only a few weeks into my third trimester, but so far the first trimester was the hardest for me. Thankfully, I was not terribly sick and I never actually threw up. However, I did deal with morning sickness and fatigue for about six weeks. It could have been so much worse, but when I was in the middle of it I thought it was pretty bad.

The strangest part to me was that I could not stand even the thought of foods I had been eating regularly for so long. I used to eat oatmeal for breakfast every morning, but even the smell of it made me nauseous. I didn’t want to eat beans or cabbage, or anything else with a strong smell or taste.

My wonderful husband brought me juice and crackers in bed every morning when I woke up (and I began sleeping much later than the 5:00 mornings I was used to), and that would usually curb my nausea enough to get up and putter around a bit. Sam would also cook me eggs for breakfast every morning, and he also got used to cooking his own food pretty often. I still tried to cook him beans and chop his cabbage, but often I would do it in the biggest batches I could and put them in the refrigerator for him to fix for himself the rest of the way.

I lived on eggs, toast, potatoes, and yogurt, and I ended up losing a few pounds during the first trimester.

In addition to the sickness, I also struggled a lot with discouragement during the first several weeks. I went from running with Sam every single day (typically six miles a day) to sitting in the apartment all day. This was in January/February and it was very cold outside, often with snow, which discouraged me even more from getting out.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I was still terrified about becoming a mother and our future plans in Romania. Quite often I was sad and mopey, feeling sorry for myself that I was feeling sick and cooped up inside, and being overall quite selfish. I know it was discouraging and hard for Sam, but he was extremely kind and encouraging through it all. He sympathized with my sickness, cooked and cleaned for me, and constantly thanked me for carrying our child.

Looking back now, I wish I had been much more positive and thankful for my many blessings despite my small hardships. I wish I had been more attentive and loving to Sam instead of feeling sorry for myself.

Now I am immensely thankful for all the mornings I feel well and the afternoons I feel energized. I am so thankful for my wonderful, thoughtful husband who constantly sacrifices so much for me. And I pray I will take heed to the lessons I am learning looking back on that time and if I go through that again (and I pray that I will someday!), that I will have a better attitude and always be thankful and aware of my blessings.

Even when I physically feel bad or I am discouraged, being pregnant and anticipating our child has been and is such a blessing!

It was such a blessing when I transitioned to the second trimester and began progressively feeling better and better.

Second Trimester

One day I woke up and I did not feel quite so nauseous. Each day after that I began feeling better and better, and I even began cooking breakfast for Sam because I felt well enough to get out of bed and prepare his coffee and oatmeal.

I began running again, just a few exhausting miles at a time, but I was thrilled to be running again. I also began walking much more regularly, and I finally started going to the store by myself, which gave me a boost and a feeling of independence.

I was suddenly surprised at how hungry I was all the time, and I almost didn’t care what food it was! I went back to eating almost normally for me (although it still took me a while to want coffee again), and I was eating all the time. It took me a little while to catch up I guess, but I did start gaining weight.

I was so happy to be feeling better, but of course, I still found something to be discontent about. I just wanted to look pregnant! I could not wait to have a real bump, or to feel the baby move. People were still so surprised when I told them I was pregnant, and several people even told me they never would have guessed by looking at me. I could see my stomach growing and feel myself changing, but it still wasn’t quite noticeable to others. I would ask Sam all the time if he could see my bump, and I wondered when I might need maternity clothes.

When my family came to visit I was 23 weeks. I was wearing a large, flowy dress when they first saw me, and when I asked them if I looked pregnant they politely said “yes, kind of.” However, it did not take long for me to actually start showing after that. A few days later when I was wearing maternity pants Mama had brought me and a smaller maternity top Mama said, “Oh my, you look pregnant!”

I was about 18 weeks when I first felt the baby move, and it still excites me even now every time I feel a kick.

Pregnancy continues to be such a blessing and I am so thankful for this sweet, fleeting time.

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Evangelism in Romania: Events

by Julie Peters///By Julie, Romanian Life

 Earlier this year in May Sam and his dad planned, studied, passed out flyers, hung up posters, advertised, and rented a room at a recreational center in downtown Craiova for two nights for a lectureship on the resurrection.

Sam giving a lecture on the resurrection

The event took a lot of time, planning, and effort, but it was worth it when we had 6-7 new visitors each night, some of whom became contacts interested in further study.

The only downside to the two-night event was that there was some miscommunication and the room Sam rented and got a contract for was not available either night. Since we were forced to use a less-ideal room both nights, even though we had paid for another room, we were allowed one more night a month later for free.

Again, Sam and his dad began studying and preparing lectures for this one night event titled “The Story of the Bible in 80 minutes.” I designed posters to advertise on Facebook, and both Sam and Dad passed out thousands of flyers and talked to many people.

This is the poster I designed for Facebook and to hang up at the piata

Dad also went to the big piata in Craiova (something similar to a huge farmer’s market) to see about hanging up posters in the high-traffic area. When Sam asked before they said the policy was 1 leu per poster per day, with a minimum of 30 days. Unfortunately the process ended up being much more involved than anticipated, and it looked like the president of our association (the organization that allows us to get a long term visa and stay for more than 90 days in Romania) would have to drive two hours from Severin to sign a paper before the posters could be hung. Thankfully, the piata director’s son talked him into allowing us to put up the posters without all the paperwork, for free!

The night of the event arrived dreary, windy, and rainy. We did not want to be pessimistic, but I wondered if anyone would show up because of the weather.

Our great friend and translator, Eugen, and Dad doing the lecture on the New Testament

However, we had seven guests, which is an impressive and encouraging number! One visitor was Sam’s parent’s 93 year old neighbor. Another man came straight from the piata, carrying the eggs he had just purchased. Other visitors were people we had met before or curious people who had received a flyer or seen a poster.

Some of our visitors

The result was an extremely encouraging night, with new contacts and potential new opportunities to study and share the gospel with others. It was a wonderful way to end our time in Craiova for the time being.

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Online Schooling

by Julie Peters///Uncategorized

Right now Sam and I are have joined the growing number of distance students and we are both currently enrolled in online school. I am working towards a Bachelor’s degree in English Language and Literature at Southern New Hampshire University, and he is studying for a Master’s degree in Christian Studies and the Classics at Knox Theological Seminary.

I began my online schooling about a month before we moved to Romania, and Sam began his a few weeks after we moved here. We both work with 8-week terms; I take two classes for a full load and Sam takes one class for a full load (the difference being due to undergraduate vs graduate courses).

Having experienced two years at a physical university with absolutely amazing teachers and classes, transitioning to online college classes was difficult, but it has also been a huge blessing.

When I first met Sam I was in my second week of my freshman year of college, while he was beginning his senior year. We began thinking about and talking about marriage pretty early on in our dating relationship (we began dating about 5 months after we met), and school was an issue that came up many times.

While I was up for quitting school and never looking back, both my parents and Sam strongly encouraged me to consider the benefits of having a college degree, even if I never used it career-wise. Of course, they were not saying that there is anything wrong with not having a college degree, simply that if I had the opportunity, it would be a wise choice for me to make.

I began researching options for online schooling at the end of my freshman year, and SNHU was the best option I found due to it’s degree options, affordability, and flexibility for distance learners.

Of course, I was getting a little ahead of myself as we were not even engaged yet, but once we got engaged right before my second year at Florida College and made our plans for the future, I began researching and pursuing the online school more seriously.

As I said, the format for online classes is quite different and took a bit of getting used to, but it has turned out to be a huge blessing during this stage in my life.

I usually begin a typical school week by writing out what all is due for the week and note what days the assignments are due. Some weeks I have a discussion board post due by midnight on Thursday, but the majority of the assignments are due by midnight on Sunday.

Once I can see what all is due for the week I can schedule out what I need to complete each day. This usually means I complete the reading at the beginning of the week, taking notes for the prompts I know I’ll be writing for, then I complete the assignments.

I like the flexibility of online classes, because I have the option of working ahead and taking a day or two off, or if I have an extremely busy day and I’m unable to get anything done I know I can work harder the rest of the week and catch back up.

Right now I am getting ready to start one last eight-week term before the baby comes. I will finish August 26 and my due date is September 6, so I am cutting it a little close. However, I  plan to work ahead as much as I can, and I know the professors at SNHU are aware of many unique circumstances of their students and will be gracious if I go into labor before the term is up.

According to my current schedule I will take one eight-week term off, and Lord willing I will start back with half a load (one class) when the baby is about 2 months old. I have no idea how it will all go, but I know I have support from my husband to keep going, and I will have lots of help from him, Mama, and my sister Leah.

If all goes as planned I will complete my degree in April 2019, right around the same time I would have finished if I had continued my education at FC or another traditional school. And thanks to online schooling, I will have also been able to get married, move to another country for a year, and have a child in between!

Online schooling is not perfect, but it certainly is a huge blessing.

Pregnancy Story: Part One

by Julie Peters///Baby, By Julie, Reflection

I recently realized that I have shared very little concerning my pregnancy with our first child other than small updates here and there. Some have expressed interest in knowing more, so I decided to go back and create a record of our child’s life so far.

Back in June after our wedding, our lovely brother and sister (Abe and Grace) placed several pregnancy tests in the back of Sam’s car before we drove away for our honeymoon. When we found them we laughed, thanked Abe and Grace, and Sam put them away in a storage box at his parent’s house in Kentucky.

Last December we made a trip back to America to spend Christmas with family and to attend Paul, Sam’s brother’s wedding in Kentucky. While we were in Kentucky Sam gathered all the boxes of his possessions left at his parent’s house because they were planning on renting the house after returning to Romania.

Included in those boxes were the pregnancy tests.

Once earlier in the year we had purchased a pregnancy test at a pharmacy in Romania because I thought I might be pregnant. I wasn’t, but we discovered that pregnancy tests in Romania were not the cheapest, and we definitely did not want to have to buy any more than we needed. So when we found the tests in the box, we decided to bring them with us to Romania. Just in case.

The night before we left to return to Romania, as Sam and I packed our suitcases he came across the pregnancy tests.

“Why don’t you take this in the morning?” he handed me one of the tests. “Just for kicks and giggles,” he added, seeing the incredulous look on my face.

I agreed, and when I woke up the next morning I dutifully took the test with me to the bathroom, just to please my curious husband. Sam hurried down to the basement to try to run a few miles on the treadmill before we began hours of traveling.

I fully expected the test to be negative, so I did not worry as I waited for the lines to appear and proceeded to pack a few last minute items. When I looked at the test again I was shocked to see two lines. I thought surely this test was different from the one I took in Romania and I checked the box to see what constituted a positive test.

I was still in disbelief as I walked down the stairs where Sam was running.

“Is everyone waiting upstairs?” he asked when he saw me come into the room.

“No, everyone’s asleep,” I replied.

Sam stopped the treadmill. “No…was it positive?”

I smiled and nodded, and Sam jumped off the treadmill and hugged me. We were both in shock.

And then we left.

I cried on and off the entire trip, from the nine hour drive to Chicago, to the ten hour flight to Munich, two hour flight to Serbia, and the five hour drive to Romania. I was already so sad to be leaving family, then I did not know what to think about being pregnant.

The first few days after returning to Romania were extremely hard. We were jet-lagged and still depressed from leaving, and we had a new, huge change in our lives to begin to think about and plan for.

I felt so guilty that I wasn’t thrilled about having a baby. I would just cry and cry, telling Sam that I was still a child and I could not have a child. I didn’t know what I was doing already, and I had no idea how I would do it and be responsible for another life.

After much debate and prayer, we decided to move back to America for the birth of our child, and for at least a few years after it. While I was still terrified about being a mother and how much our lives were about to change, this was a source of great peace to me.

I still feel badly for my attitude at the beginning of my pregnancy, but I have grown to love our child more than I could have imagined, and I know my love will only grow when I get to meet her.

Everything did not suddenly get easier, but it did begin to get better. I will write about all the ups and downs of my first trimester in the second part of our pregnancy story!

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