Strive for Perfection, but Settle for Your Best

by Julie Peters///Learning, Living, Romania

In my spare time (haha!) I have been working on writing a reflection, or a memoir of sorts, of my experience in Romania. I am still working on writing the first month of our time there, and the story of our first experience with having guests over got me thinking about perfection and hospitality.

I am a perfectionist, and anything less than perfection tends to make me feel like a failure, but I’m learning…

I had just gotten married two months ago, and moved across the world to Romania a week ago. My husband, Sam and I lived with his parents for a week while we looked for our own apartment, and the Friday after we arrived we were signing a contract for our very first home together.

We were blessed to find an apartment with plenty of room to live and entertain, though it was old and needed work. The air-conditioning was broken and the toilet wouldn’t flush, and everything was covered with a substantial layer of grime. Our landlord promised to fix what was broken and I began scrubbing every surface before unpacking anything.

We scrubbed, unpacked, and shopped for household necessities that wouldn’t fit in a 50 pound suitcase on Saturday, and on Sunday we were scheduled to have our first guests over for dinner after worship.

At 5:00 the next morning I was up and working. I began to boil pasta, chop vegetables, and make dressing for a cold pasta salad. I also sliced bread, placed butter on a decorative plate, and cut a huge watermelon into cubes.

Once all the food was crammed into our dorm-sized refrigerator after much rearranging, I began unpacking all the boxes of items we had purchased the night before. I put pots and pans into cabinets, hung up towels in the bathroom, and hid all the boxes under our couch. We had a bucket in the middle of the hall to catch the dripping from the air conditioner and we had to “save flushes” in the toilet, but at least everything was cleared off the floor. I mopped the living room floor one more time before changing into my skirt for worship services.

Our Romanian friends, along with their three-year-old son and one year old twin daughters came home with us following services. I moved the bucket aside as they walked through the hallway and made sure they were comfortable in the living room.

If they noticed the dirt or broken items, they did not say a thing about them. They ate the food with gusto and praised my cooking. It was probably unlike anything they had ever had.

The twin girls crawled all over the floor and ended up with brown hands and knees. I began to apologize profusely, but they simply laughed it off and said it happened all the time at home.

They left when it was time for the kids to have somn de pui, or literally translated “chicken sleep,” or nap time. I began working on the mountain of dishes left in the sink, but I felt a wonderful sense of contentment and relief.

…

The first time we entertained gusts in our new house back in the States it was a Sunday afternoon potluck for our new church family. I had a 6-week old baby. Many outlets and light switches were missing their cover plates, and two rooms did not have doors (they were leaning up against a wall in the living room). I swept the kitchen that morning with Mae in her sling, but I left the pile to get up later when I could bend down without Mae in the sling.

When everyone began arriving Mae decided that she needed to eat right then. I texted Sam from our bedroom where to put food and what items to get out. When we began setting things up we realized that we forgot to buy paper bowls for the chili, and we also had no napkins. After Mae finishing feeding I went into the kitchen and saw the pile of dirt on the floor that I had not swept up.

But again, our guests were so much more gracious than I am to myself. No one cared that I had to leave to feed my baby, and I don’t know if anyone noticed the dirt on the floor. We used paper towels for napkins and we got to use all the lovely bowls we got for wedding gifts for the chili. When we ran out of bowls someone used a plastic cup and didn’t even seem to care.

God does want us to do our best, as if it is for Him and not for man, but He also wants us to be joyful and encourage the others around us. We need to do our very best for God, and also cherish the fact that both He and others around us will graciously accept our attempts, no matter how far we come from perfection. We need to strive for perfection, but settle for whatever is our best.

Getting Ready for Christmas part 2

by Julie Peters///Living

Our next part of getting ready for Christmas is decorating!

We are keeping it pretty simple for many reasons, but I think our home has just the right amount of “Christmas” to feel festive and pretty. One reason is time, of course, and it will be nice in January to only have a few things to put away.

I love Christmas decorations, and one of my favorite Christmas decoration items is nutcrackers. (It is also on my bucket list to see the Nutcracker ballet someday!) Over the past couple of years my family has given me a number of nutcrackers to put in my own home someday, and I was so excited to use them all this year.

My younger sister Leah hand painted this nutcracker! She gave it to Sam last year for Christmas, and this year I have it set up on the shelf by the sink. It makes me happy when I wash dishes!

This is one of several nutcracker ornaments we have 🙂

Sam and I were blessed to receive a huge, very nice Christmas tree from some dear friends. They had a relative who was trying to get rid of it, and they said they immediately thought of us. We gratefully accepted it and put it in the room with the highest ceiling, and we still had to bend over the top a bit, but it is beautiful and we love it. Mae’s sweet stocking

Mine and Sam’s stockings we got last year from Romania

Last Friday night we turned on Christmas music, made coffee (our favorite drink!) and I defrosted banana bread from the freezer. It only took us about half an hour to put around our little decorations and trim the tree, which was perfect for Mae. She only wanted to be held, so I just went around with her in one arm and we decorated together.

What is your favorite Christmas thing?

Blessings and Balance

by Julie Peters///Learning, Living

I was really wanting to get back into a regular schedule with blogging. I planned out all my posts and even wrote a few in advance.

But then life happened.

Blessings happened.

I am blessed to have a wonderful three-month-old baby who requires my almost constant care and attention. She takes up a lot of my time and energy, but she is beyond worth it.

I am blessed to have the most wonderful husband ever. Cultivating our relationship together takes time, but it is not a burden. It is a blessing I would be lost without.

I am blessed to be able to take online classes to finish my Bachelor’s degree. Almost every day I think about or talk about just quitting because it takes so much time and mental energy that I feel like I just don’t have right now, but I am truly thankful I have this opportunity. And I will be SO HAPPY when I am done, Lord willing, in April 2019.

I am blessed to have a house to clean, food to cook, and laundry to wash and fold! I must admit, not all of these things happen every day…or even every week (as far as cleaning certain areas of the house goes), but I am thankful.

I’m just trying to find a balance.

I want to do it all! I want to fully care for Mae, give Sam all my time and attention, get good grades in school, cultivate relationships with others, blog regularly, cook hot meals, have a clean house, wash and fold laundry regularly, bake bread, sew clothes, read books…the list goes on and on.

I know I can’t do all of these things all of the time, so I am trying to find some sense of balance in my life so I can do some of these things some of the time (and some of them all of the time).

How do you find balance in your life?

What Mae is Teaching Me

by Julie Peters///Learning, Parenting

“So are you able to run yet?” My friend asked me, casually in our conversation together over coffee (and a baby in her ring sling).

“Well, I am physically able to run, I just don’t have the time to right now. But you know, it’s okay, because I’m not a runner, I’m a Mama now,” I began telling myself more than her.

That simple question started me off on a tangent going way back, trying to explain what having a baby has taught me. And I’m still learning.

Lessons from a baby

Having a baby is teaching me so much about myself, and while it is not always fun, it is so valuable.

When I got pregnant sooner than I planned (but God’s plan is so much better!) I found myself having to face a lot about myself. I saw an issue I have, that I did not want to gain weight or get any bigger, fully surface as my body grew and changed in many ways with pregnancy. I realized as I was forced to drastically decrease the amount of running I was doing that running was a much bigger part of my identity than it should have been. I learned how selfish I was, and how much I wanted to do things my way and on my time.

I’m still learning

I definitely still have not learned all these lessons! I still look at my postpartum body and wish I looked and felt like I did before. I still long to go out and do a long run or a speed workout with the same endurance as before. I still want to go out and do things on my own or not be so tied down to my sweet baby’s schedule. But I am still learning.

I am learning to be less selfish. I am learning where I am placing my identity, and shifting my focus to Christ and my identity in Him. I am learning to focus on the needs of others instead of my own. And these lessons are blessings from God.

Children are a blessing

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127. I admit, during my pregnancy and the first few weeks, I do not always feel rewarded. But if I stop and think about it I am overwhelmed with how blessed I am. How do I deserve this reward of this amazing life I am responsible for? How do I deserve the joy she brings? And all the lessons she is teaching me, though she is only twelve weeks old?

I know I do not deserve any of it. I do not deserve any blessings from God, yet He has showered my life to overflowing. Now I must use them to His glory, and thank Him for each one.

This Thanksgiving I am so thankful for so much, but I am especially thankful this year for my sweet baby and all she is teaching me.

What about you?

How are your children a blessing? What lessons have you learned lately?

Getting Ready for Christmas

by Julie Peters///Uncategorized

Every year Mama does a series of blog posts about Christmas prep and organizing, so I decided to take the idea from her and do a series here as well.

I am actually one of those people who will start listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving (this year I started the day after Halloween!), and we haven’t decorated for Christmas yet, but I would be okay if we did before Thanksgiving. However, I still LOVE Thanksgiving and it is one of my favorite holidays! I just also love Christmas. I am thankful for Christmas!

So far this year I have made a Christmas gift list, bought/made a few gifts, ordered Christmas cards, and made a list for Christmas goodies to make.

Christmas Gifts

I made a spreadsheet with three columns, with the names of everyone we are giving gifts to, a column for the gift, and the final column is for me to check off once I have bought or made it. I got this idea from Mama too!

So far I have listed all the people we would like to get gifts for, and I made a few gifts before Mae was born. I try to collect gifts throughout the year to cut down on buying so much in one month, but I usually only end up with a few, and this year was no different. However, we do budget for gifts every month of the year, so if I don’t buy them early it just builds up so I have more to work with.

I have a list of items I would like to buy for people, but I am waiting until Black Friday/Cyber Monday to see if I can get any deals on them. I will be doing 99% online shopping this year with a baby! If I don’t get any deals, then I can buy them after.

Anything I have ordered so far I’ve had shipped to Mama’s house, because I plan on wrapping all my gifts there (enlisting the help of my crafty sister Leah), and since we plan on spending Christmas at their house, most of the gifts will end up staying there.

Christmas Goodies

Growing up we always set aside 2-3 days to do a massive amount of Christmas baking with our tried and true set of recipes that Mama has gathered over the years. We also usually try one or two new recipes. This is one of my absolute favorite Christmas traditions because we spend all day together, and baking is one of my favorite things to do.

We package all the goodies up in tins and plates and give them to our church family, friends, and several people of service around us, such as the mail lady, our car mechanic, or repair man.

This year I am going to join Mama again for Christmas baking, and this year I have my own list. I have a couple new recipes I’d like to try and I’ll contribute some ingredients. We will make even huger batches and package them all up for our friends and family.

Christmas Cards

One Sunday afternoon we were in nice clothes and Mae was happy, so we went outside and Mama took pictures of our family, so that is what I ended up using for our card.

I ordered them very early (I ordered them a few weeks ago) because we want to send several to friends and family in Romania, and Romanian mail is very unpredictable!

That is all I’ve done so far. What have you done to prepare for Christmas? Or do you begin everything after Thanksgiving?

Baby Weight Gain: An Update on Mae

by Julie Peters///breastfeeding, Parenting

First of all, thank you SO MUCH to everyone who helped and encouraged me so much when I posted “High Goals, Low Expectations.” I just wanted to give you all a quick update on how it is all going.

When I found out that Mae wasn’t gaining weight like she should, I immediately asked several people what they did in this situation, and how they increased their milk supply. I had so many people give me great ideas, and I did all of them.

Tongue and Lip Ties

I know this is a common problem with baby weight gain that has nothing to do with your milk supply and several people suggested this to me. I did not have Mae rechecked, but when she was a few days old I saw a lactation consultant because we were having a lot of trouble with breastfeeding. She checked Mae and determined that she did not have any ties, but she did give me a nipple shield to help her latch because she was so small and having trouble latching.

I had started trying to wean her off of the shield, but once I knew about her weight I stopped because I just wanted her to eat however she wanted to! However, lately she has been fussing at the shield and eating without it…so maybe she’s weaning herself off of it! She still wants it sometimes, and I’m just doing whatever she wants so she will eat.

Hydration

So many people told me to start drinking a ton of water! I feel like it is always a goal of mine to drink more water, and I’ll do it for a few days, then forget again. I just don’t get thirsty that often! However, once I started intentionally drinking more (I have a quart mason jar I keep with me so I don’t have to refill it so often) I find that I really am thirsty. I don’t know how much water I drink now, but I would guess that I refill my mason jar 3-4 times a day.

Eating

We lived with my parents for 4 weeks after Mae was born because we closed on our house two days before she was born and we spent that time to repaint, redo floors, and take our time to move everything in. While I was with them I never forgot to eat because Mama always kept the house well stocked with food, and there were several people around me who were always willing to fix my lunch or get me a snack (or hold Mae while I did it myself).

When we moved to our house I often forgot to eat, or I just couldn’t do much myself (and we were still building up our stock of food because we started with nothing! Mama was the first person to suggest I make sure I eat little snacks throughout the day to keep up my supply, and she bought me some crackers and lara bars for quick snacks I could grab. I try to be a lot more intentional about fixing food whenever Mae is happy so I can grab it later.

My favorite healthy snacks are lara bars, apples or bananas and peanut butter, peanut butter toast, homemade granola, and muffins or banana bread.

Lactation Foods

In addition to just making sure I was eating enough, I also added in several lactation foods. I already eat oatmeal for breakfast every morning (I have for years; it is my absolute favorite!), but now I add chia seeds, flax seeds, or brewer’s yeast, or sometimes all three! Whenever I make banana bread or any type of muffins I add some combination of these ingredients, as well as oats or oat flour. I often but almond butter in my oatmeal and I put almonds in my granola. I also avoid too much caffeine (I drink 1-2 cups of coffee made with half caffeinated, half decaf), peppermint, and sage.

Supplements

I bought some fenugreek capsules at Walmart and began taking two capsules three times a day. I definitely noticed an increase in my supply, but Mae got to wear she would fuss and not eat, and I think it changed the taste of my milk (it changed the smell of me for sure!). I backed off to 1 capsule three times a day and she eats great now. I still smell a little off, but it’s just like maple syrup so it’s not a bad smell.

My cousin who works at a health food store recommended goat’s rue, so I began taking that as well. She said it was okay to take along with the fenugreek, so I have been taking both.

Pumping

A lot of people also said to pump a lot to stimulate myself to make more milk. The first few days I stayed at Mama and Daddy’s house so I could just focus on feeding and pumping all. day. long. I gave Mae whatever milk I pumped when I had gotten a couple ounces. I only had a manual pump, but a kind friend is letting me use her electric one. I ordered some new parts and I am loving it! It is much easier than the manual one, and I still pump almost every morning because that’s when I’m fullest.

Block Feeding

A couple of people recommended this practice to me, and it involves feeding your baby on both sides, then on the first side again to ensure she gets the hind milk. I don’t do this every time, but I do it at least a couple times a day and I can tell Mae is emptying me, and hopefully she is also getting plenty of hind milk.

The Results:

Mae had a weight check a week after her initial appointment. After doing all of these things, she had gained six ounces in a week! Our pediatrician was so pleased, told me to keep it all up, and to come back in a couple weeks just to make sure everything was going well.

Last week she had her second weight check and she now weighs 8 pounds, 3 ounces! She has regained her curve on the growth chart and all is going well.

I am continuing all these things and feeding a lot, and I pray she will continue to grow and develop!

Again, I am so thankful for everyone who gave me ideas and encouraged me when I was discouraged. If I have to supplement at some point in the future it will still be okay, but for now I am thankful that we can continue exclusively breastfeeding.

A Helpful Resource:

kellymom.com is a great website for information on breastfeeding, including for problems with weight gain and low supply. I like referring to her site for any questions I have because she is not “extreme”(I told Mama she is not a “freak out” blogger) and she backs up everything with a lot of research. I can’t vouch for everything on the site, but what I’ve read so far is very helpful. Much thanks to my wonderful sister-in-love for introducing me to the site!

Ways You can Help a Missionary Wife

by Julie Peters///Living

Being a missionary wife for a year in Romania was one of the best, but also the hardest years of my life. I would not trade the experience for anything, and if it is God’s Will in the future, I will be happy to go back to it!

It was easy to get lonely and discouraged, but there were people who reached out to me and made a big difference, though I’m not sure they knew the impact their actions had on me. A message or a letter would make my day, or my whole week. The knowledge that someone was thinking of me or praying for me would encourage me and keep me going.

Do you know a missionary wife, or maybe a preacher’s wife living far from her home? I’m sure she would appreciate anything you do to let her know she’s thinking of you. It really does help.

Here are some things that were done for me while I was overseas, and I will always remember them and the encouragement they gave me.

Care Package

If the person you have in mind lives overseas, this can prove quite a difficult task. I know someone who sent a care package to Romania and the shipping was over sixty dollars! Unless you’re totally ready to splurge, your friend living overseas will completely understand if you don’t send a care package, but if you do they will remember it forever. Someone sent me a homemade bag and note and it is still so meaningful to me. Also, when some friends from the States came to Romania for a 2 week trip, several people sent along letters and little gifts (free shipping!) and that meant so much as well.

If your friend lives in the States, I’m sure she would love to receive a care package from you, with nothing more than simple goodies that let her know you’re thinking of her.

Letter

This is so simple, and anyone loves a handwritten letter. Write and tell her what you’re up to, no matter how boring it seems to you. Write an encouraging Bible verse. Send a coloring page from your kids. Getting a letter in the mail was always so exciting, and I proudly displayed all the artwork on our wall and refrigerator. International stamps are barely over a dollar, making it an easy way to really make a difference for someone’s day.

Text, Facebook Message, or Email

These messages don’t even take a stamp! My day was always brightened when someone sent me a message saying they were thinking of me or praying for me. It is so encouraging to know you aren’t forgotten, and people really are thinking of you and care for you. So if you ever think of your missionary friend, or mention her in prayer, tell her! It will make her day.

Prayers

This is the most important. We have seen the results of prayer again and again, and I am so thankful for all the people who lifted us up in prayer. Again, if you pray for your friend, let her know! It will be so encouraging.

Ask

If you talk to your friend, whether on the phone, through an email/letter, or in person on a visit, ask her how she is. Ask her what it’s like where she lives. Ask her how the work is going. Again, it will make her feel like people care, and it actually makes the difficulties easier.

In conclusion, any kind of communication is so appreciated! It only takes a little effort and makes a big difference.

Have you ever been in a situation where little things like these would make a big difference? I would love to know so I can reach out to others who may need it!

Getting Back Into Running

by Julie Peters///Uncategorized

I am slowly but surely trying to get back into running! I ran while I was pregnant, but the last few weeks I got to where I only ran half a mile at a time, walking in between, because I had contractions every time I ran. Of course, the day before I was induced I ran and ran, trying to have contractions and go into labor, but to no avail 🙂

The first time I ran I did a mile, and my excuse for stopping was that I needed to get a shower in time to feed Mae again, but I’m not sure I could have gone much further. A couple weeks later I tried again, and I did two miles, but not without walking.

My goal for running is to run the Coke 10k in May without walking! I will probably push Mae in her jogging stroller. So I am doing a training plan to build up to running six miles, and my wonderful husband is so supportive and has been babysitting Mae so I can run.

Last week the farthest I ran was two miles, and this week I was able to do 2.5!

I am definitely having to have high goals and low expectations with it all. It is hard to celebrate running 2.5 miles when at one time I ran 26.2, but I just have to remind myself that I am in a different stage in life and it’s okay! Everything reset when Mae was born.

Next week might be a flop and I can’t run. I may only be able to do a mile before I have to stop and walk, but I’m happy I’m able to be out and running again, even if the steps are small.

Photo credit: Pexels.com

Mamas

by Julie Peters///Parenting

Mamas are amazing people. They do so much for their children.

Mamas give little life lessons all the time. At random times, while riding in the car, cooking supper, or cleaning the house, they always offer little bits of advice about boys/dating/marriage, cooking, hospitality, cleaning, babies, and any other topic that comes to mind. These little life lessons stick with their children, coming to mind at just the right times. (So many of Mama’s little life lessons have come to my mind at random times ever since I left home!)

Mamas stay with their child for the first two weeks of college to make sure they are settled and to ease the transition. Mamas also listen to their children cry on the phone over wanting to come home, and offer advice and comfort.

Mamas fly for hours over the ocean to visit their children, even if they said they would NEVER do so, and the thought is terrifying.

Mamas help out when you are stressed about your first event in a new country, where you just moved and you don’t know the language or culture. They go all over the place to collect craft supplies, and spend the day with you to plan, read and practice Bible stories, and do flashcards to learn the new language.

Mamas go to the store with you when your card stops working and the cashiers get upset because you don’t speak their language, and grocery shopping is just plain stressful. They make it so much less stressful just by being there.

Mamas always remember your favorite foods and cook them for you, or cook you the one exact thing you feel like you can eat when you’re pregnant. They remember that you like your peanut butter and jelly mixed on your sandwich, or they make your favorite pie any chance they get.

Mamas patiently answer every little question you have about babies, and help you know you aren’t doing anything wrong.

Mamas answer the phone at 2 am when you’re freaking out and asking if your baby is normal.

Mamas take time out of their day to have a FaceTime visit and study to catch up and learn more about God and how we can please Him. They find books and make studies that go along perfectly with whatever you’re going through in life. And they always listen to anything your struggling with, and try to talk it through and make it better.

Mamas drop what they’re doing (even when it is a busy day and they have a ton to do), and drive to pick you up when you have a screaming baby and a flat tire. They help you calm the baby and take you home to eat and relax.

Mamas always know just what to do to make you feel loved. And they do such a good job.

I have been incredibly blessed with the BEST Mama for 21 years, and I have also been blessed to have another Mama come into my life in the past couple of years. Both of these amazing women have given so much to me and taught me so much. I don’t know what I would do without them. I am so thankful for their examples and I pray someday I can make Mae feel as loved!

My amazing Mama, who is a great Mawmaw

My lovely mother-in-law, who is a wonderful Grami!

Life Happenings

by Julie Peters///Living

We have been keeping very busy lately! Here are some pictures of our recent activities.

Cute and itsy bitsy!

We went to a Halloween party as the Incredibles family: Mr. Incredible, Mrs. Incredible, and “Mae Mae” 🙂

Sam is always working hard, whether for his job at Relias, studying for a sermon, or studying for his school.

I also started back school this week. Baby wearing is the way to go while studying!

Mae looking adorable in her Daddy’s lap (as he’s studying some more) representing for the Bulldogs!

We walked about half a mile to downtown Baldwyn to a nice coffee shop twice last weekend.

Mae is two months old! Where has the time gone?!

Last week Clay was home for his fall break and he got to meet Mae. They both loved each other!

Life is busy, but it is a wonderful adventure!