I’m Going to Miss This

It is crazy to think that in four short weeks I will be boarding a plane to go back to the States after spending nearly a year in Romania.

Time has flown! If you had asked me a few months ago about going back, I would have told you that July 10 could not get here soon enough. Now, I am not ready for it to come and I am begging time to slow down.

It was definitely difficult at the beginning when I was newly married, very unexperienced, and I moved halfway across the world to a place with a totally different culture and language. Almost everything in my life changed at once and it took me a while to get used to everything and be able to breathe.

I remember crying almost every day because things were so hard and I did not know why. I just wanted to be able to figure everything out, but I felt paralyzed because I didn’t know what to do.

Now, nearly a year later so many things have changed. I walk to the store by myself. I am not terrified of someone talking to me and not knowing what they are saying or how to respond. I have made friends and no longer feel lonely. I have grown to love the culture and lifestyle here in Romania, and now I am sad to leave.

I’m going to miss being able to head out my door and walk into town or to the grocery store. I am going to miss shopping with Sam at the piata for the masses of fresh fruits and vegetables grown in Romania. I am going to miss the drive to Severin and seeing shepherds and their sheep on the grassy hillside. I am going to miss many things, but I am going to miss the people most of all.

When we move back to the States everything is going to change again. Maybe not as drastically as before, but many things will be different all over again.

Recently someone gave me advice about the changing seasons of life. Each time my life changes I resist, feeling like I haven’t had enough time in the previous season. I was not ready to go to college. I was not ready to come to Romania. I am not ready to become a mother. I am not ready to leave Romania.

But it’s all going to be okay.

I told Sam that sometimes I am terrified by change. He told me that things are going to change and be very different, but it will also be good. Soon I will be in a home in Mississippi taking care of my baby, and I will so glad for the change in my life. I won’t be thinking about the time of being newly married that is past, or the miles I could have run or things I could have accomplished.

It is comforting to know that God is always constant throughout the changing seasons of life, even when they seem to be changing at an alarming speed. It is comforting to know that He never changes, and I can always rely on that.

Change can be good and exciting, even when it seems to come just as I was getting used to the last change. So I’m going to embrace this change and this new season of life.

But for now, I’m still going to beg time to slow down for these last four weeks. Because I’m going to miss this.